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A Guide to Proposing
The idea of proposing, and the apparent minefield of do s and don’t s to be negotiated through, can be enough to reduce the most collected man to a nervous wreck. Fear not, because Astley Clarke are on side to get you through the process unscathed, with a fluttering fiancée on your arm.
As with every aspect of any relationship, it’s all about personal taste and knowing what the other person will appreciate – some girls will swoon with delight at the sight of ‘Jane, will you marry me?’ making its way in a flourish across the sky at some well-attended event, whereas others will ditch you on the spot and be firmly booked onto the next flight to outer Mongolia (with perhaps more normal, marriage-material girls possibly falling into the latter category). As long as you keep what you think she would want firmly within your sights, though, you can’t go far wrong - if you really mean it, you could botch and bungle the whole thing up completely, end up on your head rather than on your knees and forget the ring altogether, and she’d probably think it was adorable. So don’t panic.
To try and avoid the latter scenario, though, it might be a good idea to keep it relatively simple. Not as in take her down to the local curry house and mutter it at her with one eye on the football, but maybe keep the emphasis on a few important things and don’t be too elaborate. Ultimately those few things are probably: location, presentation and, of course, the ring.
The location: somewhere special for both of you is always a good plan. Somewhere you had one of your first dates? Where you met? Where you first went on holiday together? Or a place you know she’s always wanted to go, or that she’s talked about as being important to her. It could be as simple as asking her over dinner, or as elaborate as flying her to some exotic destination. Doing it face to face is vital though – apparently in America, e-mail has become the most popular method of popping the question. It might generally be felt that this lacks just a little frisson of romance . . . and maybe reeks of cowardice.
The presentation: an element of surprise is unlikely to go amiss. There’s the old classic of presenting it in the dessert (just make absolutely sure it doesn’t get swallowed / taken to the wrong table / thrown down the recycling chute) and other tried-and-tested methods ranging from the sublime (down on one knee in front of the sunset) to the ridiculous (proposal at a Mighty Ducks game complete with cheerleaders and paparazzi, anyone?). You just have to find the way that’ll tickle her the most.
The ring: in general, it would be hard to go hard wrong with a classic design and classic materials, such as diamonds and white gold. To avoid the anxiety of choosing this themselves and getting it wrong, though, and still have something to propose with, some men have taken up the custom of a proposal ring and an engagement ring. The proposal ring is for use at the occasion and the couple can choose the engagement ring together later – although this might have the disadvantage that the time taken to choose is likely to be considerably longer! It’s also vital, of course, to get the size of the ring absolutely right. This isn’t actually as difficult as people imagine – you can make an imprint of a ring she wears on the fourth finger of her right hand, in soap or some other substance, or just trace the inside of it onto a piece of paper. Alternatively you could measure her finger with a piece of string (in her sleep? Using some dubious ‘game’ tactic?) and work out her ring size using our conversion chart.
Traditionally, an engagement ring is worth one month of a man’s salary. Whether this is before or after tax, during bonus month or before or after any recent change of salary, though, is unspecified, so realistically, as with every aspect of the process, it all depends!
And if she says no? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Take your ring back and go out on the lash with the boys. There are other fish in the sea.
View all designer rings at Astley Clarke.
As with every aspect of any relationship, it’s all about personal taste and knowing what the other person will appreciate – some girls will swoon with delight at the sight of ‘Jane, will you marry me?’ making its way in a flourish across the sky at some well-attended event, whereas others will ditch you on the spot and be firmly booked onto the next flight to outer Mongolia (with perhaps more normal, marriage-material girls possibly falling into the latter category). As long as you keep what you think she would want firmly within your sights, though, you can’t go far wrong - if you really mean it, you could botch and bungle the whole thing up completely, end up on your head rather than on your knees and forget the ring altogether, and she’d probably think it was adorable. So don’t panic.
To try and avoid the latter scenario, though, it might be a good idea to keep it relatively simple. Not as in take her down to the local curry house and mutter it at her with one eye on the football, but maybe keep the emphasis on a few important things and don’t be too elaborate. Ultimately those few things are probably: location, presentation and, of course, the ring.
The location: somewhere special for both of you is always a good plan. Somewhere you had one of your first dates? Where you met? Where you first went on holiday together? Or a place you know she’s always wanted to go, or that she’s talked about as being important to her. It could be as simple as asking her over dinner, or as elaborate as flying her to some exotic destination. Doing it face to face is vital though – apparently in America, e-mail has become the most popular method of popping the question. It might generally be felt that this lacks just a little frisson of romance . . . and maybe reeks of cowardice.
The presentation: an element of surprise is unlikely to go amiss. There’s the old classic of presenting it in the dessert (just make absolutely sure it doesn’t get swallowed / taken to the wrong table / thrown down the recycling chute) and other tried-and-tested methods ranging from the sublime (down on one knee in front of the sunset) to the ridiculous (proposal at a Mighty Ducks game complete with cheerleaders and paparazzi, anyone?). You just have to find the way that’ll tickle her the most.
The ring: in general, it would be hard to go hard wrong with a classic design and classic materials, such as diamonds and white gold. To avoid the anxiety of choosing this themselves and getting it wrong, though, and still have something to propose with, some men have taken up the custom of a proposal ring and an engagement ring. The proposal ring is for use at the occasion and the couple can choose the engagement ring together later – although this might have the disadvantage that the time taken to choose is likely to be considerably longer! It’s also vital, of course, to get the size of the ring absolutely right. This isn’t actually as difficult as people imagine – you can make an imprint of a ring she wears on the fourth finger of her right hand, in soap or some other substance, or just trace the inside of it onto a piece of paper. Alternatively you could measure her finger with a piece of string (in her sleep? Using some dubious ‘game’ tactic?) and work out her ring size using our conversion chart.
Traditionally, an engagement ring is worth one month of a man’s salary. Whether this is before or after tax, during bonus month or before or after any recent change of salary, though, is unspecified, so realistically, as with every aspect of the process, it all depends!
And if she says no? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Take your ring back and go out on the lash with the boys. There are other fish in the sea.
View all designer rings at Astley Clarke.
